I would like to declare Monday, January 23, 2013 as the single most awkward day of my existence. Now please mind that I am indeed an awkward person, I know this and embrace it, I would, however, like to say that I generally make things pretty comfortable for everyone and do not believe a situation to be truly awkward all that often (I recently informed my mother that socially awkward adolescents are my specialty. True story.) So when I say that Monday was so, so awkward--well, let's just say that I am not exaggerating.
The highlights of the day included: tripping on a wall, running into a door, being there for conversations that you just should not be there for, getting really excited when you say hello to someone you thought you knew...only to find out that they either a) do not remember you or b) are not nearly as excited to see you by any stretch of the imagination, walking around with lettuce in your teeth, blocking the whole staircase at the library while telling a friend of your wretchedly awkward day, and then the absolute most awkward part of the day: making a boy cry in the middle of the cafeteria.
I was sitting in Crossroads eating lunch and informing my lovely roommate, Paige, that I was having an awkward day, when I see my friend’s ex-as-of-yesterday-boyfriend across the room. I, of-course, hope that he doesn't see me and keeping reading the "It Just Gets Stranger Blog" while assuming that, even if he does see me he won't want to stop and chat because they literally JUST broke up and we left on rather...shaky (?) terms. Nope, he doesn't just walk by. He comes all the way across the cafeteria and walks right up. I'm courteous and ask how he's doing (ya know, basic small talk) and we talk for a few minuets. He apologizes for being an absolute jerk during a recent battle of the wits; I say I forgive him after a slightly funny exchange. Then he gets serious and I ask if he's doing all right. He looks at me with this confused face and so I stupidly say "Well I talked to (insert friend's name here) yesterday." He responds with a "Oh, well"...then he begins to tear up really fast. As the first tear falls he literally runs (runs!) away while proceeding tears come pouring down his face. Can I just tell you? I have never gotten that many judgment filled faces sense my last racially off-colored remark at 7-11 (which was bad. Don't do Mexican accents in the ghetto of Vegas. Just don't.) The guy next to me just started with a "why-did-you-just-make-that-poor-guy-weep??" kind of face and the girl across from me gave me a "you-know-how-to-set-them-boys-in-their-place" kind of look. Granted those were the only two I could see that had a distinct phrase presented along with them, the many others were just a mixed looks of confusion and pity (if they did have a phrase it be similar to "what-the??" and "did-she-just-tell-him-his-snuggie-caught-on-fire?"). Then I just awkwardly sat there at my table, feeling like a horrible person for making a newly-heart-broken guy weep in public and attempted to finish reading the blog post.
The rest of the day involved multiple pathetic incidents that I won't be disclosing for some time.
To end the day I actually ran into the weeping guy again on my walk back from the gym...but this time the guy literally ran passed and me and looked down (why he couldn't have done this at our first encounter, I will never know.)...At least I didn't make him weep in public again, right?
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| A picture Paige snapped of my pathetic "I have been utterly defeated" brushing of the teeth portion of the day. She said I would thank her one day. I guess today is that day. Thanks, Paigy.
Granted I entirely understand that anyone of these incidents would not be exactly that mortifyingly awkward on their own, but put together, that just brings us into a whole new ball park.
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